Let It Go

Me presenting a medal to a first place winner on Sports Day at my school. It is customary here for children to kiss the hand of their elders as a sign of respect. The three girls are standing on blocks labeled 1, 2, and 3, just like at the Olympics.

It's week 4 here in Matang, which absolutely blows my mind-- this experience is already going by so fast. Luckily I am starting to get the hang of life here, and things are starting to make a little more sense (relatively). I'm not sure if things are actually getting better, or if I am dealing with them better...it's hard to say. For example, it's not that the other women teachers whisper about me in Malay while I'm sitting right there any less, it's just that I am now imagining them saying how wonderful I am and what a great job I'm doing, instead of thinking that they are criticizing my every move. I may never know the truth, but as you will read in Jackie's blog, the truth isn't really important. Total survival mode.

It's not that it takes extreme measures to survive here, it's actually quite easy, as long as you are able to let anything go. That is what I am learning. Still don't have internet? Let it go. Class got canceled and nobody told you? Let it go. Tomorrow is a school holiday but you didn't know so you didn't have time to plan anything fun? Let it go. Wearing a skirt that reveals the silhouette of your lower legs and you're told to put on a "petticoat?" Let it go. It's a good lesson in any country really, so I am thankful to Malaysia for teaching it to me now.

Ez teaching a class.

My current struggle is not getting frustrated when people assume something about me for being a Westerner, and don't really listen to me when I try to explain the truth. Some people are very curious and always ask me things like my favorite color, my favorite food, my sister's name, etc, but when it gets to deeper things, they think they already know and either don't bother to ask, or interpret my explanation completely wrong because they think they already know the answer. For example, someone might ask, "Why don't you have rice in America?" to which I will reply, "Actually we do, we eat rice all the time," to which they will reply, "Why don't you like rice?" At first I thought this was a language issue, but after experiencing similar conversations with people who are quite competent in English, I really don't think it is. There are a lot of misunderstandings that go on because the cultures are so incredibly different. It can be really difficult, especially when the two cultures have different ideas of what is rude and what is not. Something I say that is perfectly normal for Americans, ie "You did a very good job on your essay," is considered inappropriate in certain situations. Yes, I learned that the hard way. There are so many different rules, and mostly I have been learning them by breaking them, so in order not to feel constantly under scrutiny, I really do have to just let it go.

But on to the things I love.

The students. There is nothing more fun than spending my time with the most polite, most excited, and most giggly teenagers I have ever met. Yes, I get a little tired out when 95% of the words I speak all day are "good morning" an "good evening," but mostly I am just happy that everyone always makes an effort to talk to me, even if they only say the few words they know. I was in the computer lab the other day, when a class of Form 1s (13-year olds) came in to talk to me. After a few minutes of blowing me kisses and telling me they loved me and missed me, they all handed me pieces of paper. I couldn't figure out what they wanted from me (by now they had maxed out their English vocab and were just throwing Malay words at me) until one student modeled it for me by signing her name. Apparently they wanted my autograph. I'm not sure why, I don't think they thought I was famous, but I suppose that being the first American they have ever met is enough. We don't realize back in the States that TV and movies have made us famous simply for being us. Of course in some countries it is pretty negative fame, but in Malaysia Americans are revered for the most part.

Another request I always get from the students is to sing them songs, and not just any songs; I am always, without fail, asked to sing them "Umbrella" by Rihanna. Why the kids are all obsessed with this song I don't understand, but I seriously need to memorize it so I don't disappoint them anymore when I can only sing the chorus. Sometimes they ask me to sing Green Day songs, which I am much happier about. If only I played guitar and actually had a good singing voice, I would be a superstar.

Most delicious lunch ever- "Daging Merah Goreng" (fried red meat)

Other things I love- how cheap the food is, and how easy it is to travel on the weekends. I probably spend less than $4 a day on food, and even though I am always picking sardines out of everything I eat (the rice, the salads, even puff pastries), it is a really good deal. Travel is also pretty cheap, but mostly it is a well-deserved break from the overwhelming feeling I often have at school. Last weekend Ez and I joined 6 other ETAs at Perhentian Island. What a beautiful place. We took a boat from Kuala Besut, about 2 hours north of here, for a 30 minute ride to one of the most beautiful beaches I have ever seen. The boat ride was a little rough, but we were all ok with it, except for maybe Mike, who was screaming the whole time. Just a few 7 foot waves in a small 15 person speed boat, no problem.

First glimpse of the beach on Pulau Perhentian Kecil (Small Perhentian Island)

Some very happy campers


The view from our hostel's resaurant

No definite plans for my birthday yet- we have an ETA group outing planned for this weekend, but where and when exactly is still a mystery. Good ol' government planning.