Surprise! You Know Much Less Than you Think You Do

Every time I think I've figured this place out, something happens to make me realize that I probably know even less than I did when I first got here. Malaysia just has this way of psyching you out.

Since we arrived in January, Ezra and I have been aware 24/7 that Malaysia is a conservative country, and that Terengganu is a conservative state in a conservative country. For me, this means no shorts or short sleeves, no shaking hands with men, and accepting the fact that when men want to know something about me, they will ask Ezra right in front of my face. For both of us, it means no talking about sex, drugs, pork, divorce, homosexuality or alcohol, and no PDA (not even holding hands or hugging).

Not that we haven't received mixed messages throughout this whole experience, but the past week has mostly pleasantly driven the point home that no matter how much we think we know, we know nothing. Some examples:

Last weekend, Ez and I took a short trip to Melaka, a small city on the West Coast known for its Dutch and Portuguese colonial influences. It was a great place, and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, despite the fact that this is what I experienced for the entire 8-hour bus ride there:

But yes, despite that, it was a great trip. Most notable, was the Royal Customs Museum. Curious what could possibly be interesting about a museum about the customs department, Ez and I ventured inside. (And, it was free). What we found, basically, is the place where Malaysia expresses it's need to talk about all of the forbidden things I just mentioned. Inside the museum were endless amounts of items that had been confiscated over the years by the Malaysian customs department, such as handles of booze, statues of naked women, and even pornography. So, apparently, you can talk about those things in Malaysia, as long as you're in the Royal Customs Museum in Melaka. Surprise!

River Views in Melaka

I also found out recently that it actually is okay to talk about divorce, because despite the common remark that divorce is forbidden and never happens in Terengganu, the truth is, it happens all the time! This was news to me, since for the better part of my time here, I have been told that unlike "you Americans," Malays don't believe in divorce and it NEVER happens. Well, recently, one of my Form 3 students who lives at the hostel had been having anxiety attacks (4 to be exact) in which she started hyperventilating and her limbs went numb. At first, I thought this was asthma and gave her my inhaler, which helped. But, the second time it happened, I took her to the hospital (where was the adult in charge here besides me?) where they informed me it was a panic attack and she needed counseling. I informed the school and they said they'd handle it. Two panic attacks and two more trips to the hospital later, they decided to ask her what was wrong (she wouldn't/couldn't tell me). Turns out, her father was divorcing her mother, and leaving her alone in a one-room house with eight children and no job. This, of course, was stressing my little student out. When I asked my foster mom about the divorce, and if maybe the girl was upset because she thought others would look down on her for this, my foster mom replied that, no, of course not, divorce happens all the time! Half the students in the school have divorced parents! Surprise!

I am happy to report though that the girl, we'll call her "Nor," is doing very well now, has not had anymore attacks, and we are the best of friends. So, whatever counseling they did for her worked I guess.

On the front of gender-relations in Terengganu, I am learning more and more that they are just that: gender relations in Terengganu. Of course I knew that in KL men would shake my hand and perhaps even look me in the eye when we spoke, but living in Terengganu for so long always makes me forget that. I was reminded again yesterday when a very nice man from Negeri Sembilan, a West Coast state, came to my school to do some dental work on the kids for their once-per-year dental check-up (these are some of the state's poorest kids, so that's why they get dentist appointments through their school). Anyways, the dentist and I got to talking a bit, and he asked me how I felt about Terengganu. I did as I am told to do and answered only half-truthfully, that I loved it and it was great. He saw right through me somehow, and explained how I didn't have to hide the truth, because even as a Malay man he always has culture shock when he comes to Terengganu. He even said, "and women won't even shake my hand!" The funny thing was, at the end of our delightful conversation in which my stereotypes about Malaysian men were all disproved, he put out his hand to shake mine, and I was still so taken aback that I hesitated. By the time I got it together to put my hand out, he had already retracted his and just said "nice to meet you!" and left. So, surprise! I am the conservative one? I'm a little worried how I am going to be in social situations back in the States now...

On to discussions of sexual orientation. In a few words: they don't happen here. Marriage is strictly between a man and a woman, and anything else is forbidden both by law and religion. So much so, that I doubted that the kids would even have a consciousness of homosexuality, unless of course it was through personal experience. Well, the other day I received a letter from a Form 2 girl (14 years old) that said, "Ms. Sarah, I like someone. But, this person is not a boy. It is a girl. I like her because she is clever and smart. What should I do?"

Well, I figured that either 1) She meant that she liked the girl as a friend, and maybe was too shy to talk to her because she was a popular girl or something, or 2) She had romantic feelings for a girl and had no idea what that meant, either physiologically or culturally. So, I decided that if this did indicate that one day her sexual orientation would be one that her country did not accept, at least for now I could lend my understanding ears so that when she figured it out for herself, at least she would remember that I said it was ok, and that somewhere in the world she would be accepted. And, I figured if she only liked the girl as a friend, she probably wouldn't even understand what I meant by liking a girl in that way, since discussions of these things around a 14 year old girl probably don't happen. So, either way, I decided it was safe to ask her to clarify what she meant, and she would either be eager to tell me how she felt about this girl, or would harmlessly inform me that her feelings were platonic.

Well, yesterday, I received a letter back that proved to me once again how clueless I am. It said, "Miss, I only like her as a friend. I am not a lesbian. I am a normal girl." Surprise! Despite how sheltered these kids are, they still know all about everything they're not supposed to know about, even in the middle of nowhere where we live. I haven't written back to her yet, but I suppose I will just tell her that I only asked because where I live, being a lesbian is also considered normal, so I just wanted her to clarify. Then I suppose I'll ask her why she is having trouble being friends with this girl she admires so much.

That's all for now. I must go back to working in my office with 25 other women, covered head to toe in conservative garb, as we all (Surprise!) listen to "My Humps" and "Touch My Body" on the radio, everyone singing along.

It's Up to You

Last week, I was almost sure that my life until August 7th, 2008, was going to be a living hell. Well, I'd like to change my vote for the moment. I feel the best right now that I have at any point in the past 6 months. I really didn't see it coming, but for every second of the last 48 hours, I have been happy.

It started last week actually, when something amazing happened at the end of my Form 1 class. Usually, after class in the lower forms, all of the girls will line up at the door as I am walking out to give me the traditional salaam (clasping hands, them putting their foreheads to my hand, and touching our hearts afterwards). This end of class tradition began the same way that day as any other. But, something new and exciting happened. Now, remember, in Terengganu, women and men don't touch. That means no hugging, no shaking hands, and often no eye contact. Well, as the last girl in the class and I both touched our hands to our hearts, I looked out to see one of the boys, granted one of the delightfully mischievous ones, standing in front of me with his hand outstretched.

I paused for a second and looked around me. The boys were all giggling, and the girls looked just as curious about what was about to happen as I was. So, amidst quiet gasps and giggles, I clasped his hand in mine, and he touched it with his forehead just as politely as all the girls had done. Before I had time to reflect on what had just happened, the flood gates had opened. The boys had formed a messy little line by the door and each one touched their heads to my hand and uttered a shy little "Thank you, Ms." I think I must have looked pretty shocked because they were all giggling as I left the classroom.

It might seem strange to you, but this little incident made me sublimely happy. At first it was just because these 13-year old boys are so adorable (they all look/seem like they are about 6 years old) and all year I've had to stop myself from affectionately patting them on the heads (a double faux pas) or giving them encouraging taps on their shoulders. I never realized how important physical contact is in establishing a personal connection, but there it is. Even after simply shaking hands with these boys, I felt like I knew them a thousand times better.

Then, as I thought about it more, I realized that feeling closer to my students wasn't the only reason this moment was so important. Sure, it also means that they like me and feel comfortable with me but, more importantly, it means that my being here has encouraged them to be more open-minded and follow their hearts, not just the rules dictated to them by society. It's not revolutionary or anything, but maybe just a small seed of change that will help them create a more open and accepting society. That hope is enough to make all the BS worth it, and my last weeks here more meaningful.

Also, I realized how in all of my classes, the students are constantly asking me questions like "which type of paper should I use?" and "should I write about a girl or a boy?" and since I want to foster their creativity, I always say, "it's up to you." I don't think they hear that too often, because they always seem so pleasantly surprised that I would let them make a choice of their own. In fact, I haven't been hearing it that often myself lately either, so I decided to make that my motto, encouraging the kids to make their own choices, and reminding myself that my experience here is what I make of it.

After that, I think I was able to drop my guard a little bit, and with it, hopefully, all of my negativity. I took my new spirit of hope and freedom of choice with me throughout the next few days, and I plan to expand it as much as I can before I leave. Otherwise, what am I here for? Certainly it's not to complain.

So, to make a long story even longer, here are some moments of joy from the last few days:

Hari Korperasi

What better way to give the students and teachers a break than to declare Tuesday, June 24th, Hari Korperasi, aka, School Store Day! I have never seen or heard of a school that would celebrate their school store by canceling classes, hosting a 3 hour ceremony with 'inspiring' speeches from local government officials, 2 hours of dancing and martial arts performances, a clothing drive, a car wash, and a raffle. It was delightful. I spent the day schmoozing with the kids, eating fruit salad "made especially for Ms. Sarah" by my favorite students, playing petanque with the cranky teachers, and winning a prize in the raffle. Well, sort of winning a prize. At the end of the raffle when almost all the prizes had been given out (maybe 20 or so), we were all waiting to hear who the last winner would be. Like any normal raffle, they were calling out numbers, and the owner of the lucky number would win. So I sat there with my friend Tihah, both of us jokingly praying that our numbers would be called, when we heard, "And the winning number is, our ETA Ms. Sarah!" It was in Malay of course, so all I heard was my name. Utterly confused, I accepted my goody bag and went back to Tihah. I still don't understand what happened, but hey, free cookies!

Hugs

Ez and I went to another school in our town today to see some of the other ETAs who were gathered there for a drama competition. Unexpectedly, I got to meet two of my email pen pals from Ellie's school, Yana and Mira, both Form 2, who I have been corresponding with for months but figured I'd never meet. But, there they were, and they gave me some of the best hugs ever!!! Hugs here are few and far between, so this more than made my day. Thanks, girls!

Lime Shampoo

Yesterday, one of the teachers commented to me that my hair was very dry, and she was absolutely right. I told her that my hair wasn't used to such intense heat, and also that the ends were probably a bit damaged from not getting a haircut in 6 months. She had no idea what I was saying of course, but told me she would bring me some "lemon cream" to fix it. Ok, sounds good. So today, she hands me a bag of 3 limes and says, "squeeze, scrub, wait, rinse." I tried it about 20 minutes ago. I have to say, I'm impressed with the results. My hair feels soft, and smells lovely. I wasn't expecting to have pithy bits stuck in my scalp, but maybe those will go away tomorrow.

Liza

Recently, a Form 4 girl has stopped being shy with me and has been talking to me for hours every day. It's wonderful. Her name is Liza, and she speaks English excellently, probably the best in the entire school. Tonight she had me promise to sit and talk with her in the cafeteria so that we could talk about more "interesting things" than we can on campus with all the teachers around. I was expecting a lot of questions about boys, but actually she had something different in mind. We discussed, what she called, having "the open mind." She told me that this was important to her, because not many people she knew had "the open mind." We talked for an hour, until I got sleepy and decided to end our chat with a cheesy summary of what we could both take away from the conversation (truly in the Malay style). Try not to cringe too much, but I said something like, "well, now we both agree that it is more important to be open-minded and follow your heart than it is to do what other people want you to do. Remember, you can do and be anything you want, it's up to you." She smiled of course, and laughed a little, saying, "Ms. Sarah, you always say that. After you leave, every time I say 'it's up to you,' I will think of you."

I will think of you too, Liza. Thank you.

Omm (mmmmmmm....)

Thinking about coming back to Malaysia after three weeks away was almost painful. But, as Ez and I stepped off the airplane in Kuala Lumpur a little over a week ago, we were immediately at ease. It felt like our place, and almost like our home. We appreciated the familiarity of the people, the language, and the culture and, of course, the fact that we knew our way around. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all!

We spent that afternoon in KL before our flight back to Terengganu getting a little bit excited for the next two months. We bounced comforting thoughts off of each other, such as "it will go by so fast!" and "we don't have to live out of a backpack anymore!" and "we get to see our students and really give them our all!" Realizing then that we had no one to pick us up from the airport in KT at 9 o' clock at night, Ez called Acik, his Mr. Fix It, and given the kind man he is he agreed to pick us up and drive us home. We both felt comforted that at least in Malaysia, we had friends-- people who looked after us. I was further soothed when Acik really did pick us up, and he drove us all the way home, Indian music blasting from the speakers as we watched the darkened fields of palm trees fly by. Finally, after weeks of the hustle and bustle of traveling, we could finally rest and relax. This was going to be a nice last 2 months.

Unfortunately, I could not have been more wrong. The second we arrived at our house at 10:30pm, my visions of rest, relaxation and a great last 2 months were shattered into tiny shards of glass all over the floor. We walked in through the front door to find that the same leak in our ceiling that they had supposedly fixed a month ago had become 4 leaks, and the floors of the dining room and kitchen were inundated with about 2 inches of pipe water. All the papers I had left on the table were drowned in their own ink, and the bottoms of the table and chairs were starting to mold. There's no telling when the leak started, but it could have been as long as three weeks earlier. Exhausted, we cleaned up the mess and made some water-catching devices before we went to bed. After two days of telling us he'd come, the school's handyman finally came and fixed the leak. For some reason, he left the ceiling tile in the attic, so now, over a week later and after asking him to put it back every day, we still have a gaping hole in our ceiling. WELCOME HOME!

Since then, I have been struggling to stay positive. The last two months, if the last week is any indication, are going to be rough. It is always better to end on a positive note, so let me vent a little bit first, and then I'll tell you about how wonderful it all really is and how I am learning so much.

THE BAD NEWS

I arrived back at school last week excited to see everyone. Of course, it had been awhile since I saw anyone, and I was looking forward to reuniting with my teacher friends and students and finding out how they spent their vacations, etc. I should have seen it coming, but I am either slow on the uptake or just insanely optimistic. As I smiled and greeted people at my school, I was completely ignored. I asked everyone how they were, how their vacations were, like you do, and the nicest response I got was "Oh!" as if I frightened them. What was going on? By the end of the day, my closest teacher friends had come around and started to be friendly, but with everyone else, it was "Ignore Sarah day" if not "Give Sarah the Evil Eye Day." To say the least, I came home and cried into Ezra's arms. 

The next day, I woke up bright and early as I always do, gave myself a pep-talk about how from now on, I was just going to engage with the people I knew were friendly as not to put myself in the situation of feeling hated and unwanted, and headed off to school. As I was walking, the kids who lived at the hostel and their Warden, Saidi, offhandedly mentioned that there was no school today. "Terengganu won the Malaysian Olympics (Sukma), isn't that great? They declared a state holiday!" 

"Great." I responded, when what I really wanted to say was, "Yeah, its great when all 900 teachers and students who attend this school are informed of a day off and I am walking to school at 7am like a complete idiot. How considerate of you. Just Great!" I walked home and went back to bed, realizing that being bitter was only going to make it harder for myself, as obviously no one else seemed to care. So, the bad news is, the next two months are going to be really difficult. I figure that the least I can do is be good to myself and try not to hold any anger, bitterness or hostility in my heart. 

THE GOOD NEWS

Despite the frustration, our trip made me appreciate a lot of things about this country, and helped me separate my unfortunate circumstances from the country as a whole. It's easy to blame everything that goes wrong on "Malaysia," but that is extremely unfair. Coming back to Terengganu after being in other parts of Asia showed me how beautiful the state can be. In what other place would a taxi driver take us out for coffee after driving us to our destination? Where else in Southeast Asia can you find an unpolluted river that actually looks gorgeous up against the green palm fields and rolling hills? There ARE really special things about this place.

Also, as usual, I love my students. Last week I decided it was time I really do what I think is important in my classes. I started a new unit on globalization, and have been teaching my kids to think about how technology is affecting Malay culture in both positive and negative ways. In some of my classes I had them discuss these changes, and in others I had them simply draw a picture of what their village might look like in 50 years. I think it was a good exercise for them in looking at the possibilities for change even within a system that seems so against it, and also to think about what it means that the West is "getting closer" to them. For the record, every single student had a reason why globalization was better for Malaysia, and it wasn't until I introduced the idea that there could be some negatives that they actually thought about it. They came up with some great reasons: more pollution, the replacement of traditional foods, styles and entertainment with Western ones, etc. I also taught them about the increasing gap between rich and poor in most countries, and felt pretty awesome for putting my college major to use finally. So yay!

Finally, the real good news is that despite all of the you-know-what I have to go through, I think I am capable of remaining calm, present and together in my mind and heart. I taught a yoga class last week to my yoga girls and, for the first time, I introduced them to the Omm chant that is normally done after a yoga session in order to calm the mind and body (I had been reluctant to teach it to them until now since I thought they'd think it was non-Islamic or something). As the nine of us sat facing each other after 45 minutes of stretching and balancing, we chanted together in perfect unison, "Ommmmmmmmm." They loved it, and I felt so happy to be able to share it with them.

And now, to make sure I share it more often with myself.

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Cambodia: Same Same But Different

Any traveler in Southeast Asia will tell you that if there's anything continuous among all the countries, its that slightly endearing, slightly annoying phrase "same same but different." In Malaysia & Singapore you hear it every-so-often, in Cambodia it was definitely there, and in Thailand, where I'm guessing it originated, you'll even find it on t-shirts.

Every time I heard this (usually said to me when a local was explaining a certain custom or traditional food, and trying to tell me that it was similar to what I know, but different in some way or another), the English Teacher Demon inside of me wanted to explode at how this grammatically incorrect English saying was the most popular in the region. However, I am fighting that demon for the moment, as the phrase happens to be a great way of explaining how I felt about Cambodia.

A Happy Couple in Angkor, Cambodia

I'm no expert of course, having only been there for 6 days, but Cambodia felt like a really different place to me. Of course it was still SE Asia with the rice, curries, stifling humidity, and endless hawkers and touters, but something about it felt more genuine and more familiar to me than any other place we've been so far, including Malaysia. I have a couple of theories as to why this is:

1) It could be more familiar because it is definitely the poorest country in the region, and the sight and atmosphere of poverty and begging children reminded me of traveling through Central America. I suspect this is part of the truth, not all of it.

2) It could be more familiar to me because, growing up, I had a series of Cambodian babysitters for about 10 years, and apparently I understood the Khmer language as a baby. In fact, I was hoping that the language would come back to me within minutes of being there, but I guess 23 years is long enough to forget something completely. So yeah, I don't think this theory works too well.

3) It could feel more familiar to me because my personal values and outlook on the world is more in line with what I experienced as Cambodian values and perspectives. I think this is my favorite theory. The general "feeling" of being in Cambodia was different. It was as if the people we spoke to actually recognized us as fellow humans, not just as white tourists, which has been most of our experiences here. Even in just quick conversations with people, I could see their personalities and their senses of humor right away. Maybe it was just a more open, friendly culture, I don't know. When I travel, I try as hard as I can to connect with people on a personal level, and in Cambodia I felt this was actually possible. Even in Malaysia, after 5 months, I still find this to be a challenge. I guess that the importance I place on personal, human connection was finally returned in Cambodia, and that felt great. In a way, I think I'd rather spend our last 2 months there...

I love the Cambodian Sense of Humor

On the note of personal connections, Ez and I had a GREAT one in Siem Reap. We were strolling the main tourist area looking for a place to eat dinner, when a Cambodian man at one of the cafes we passed got our attention.

"Are you from Costa Rica?"

We both immediately noticed that Ez was wearing his "Universidad de Costa Rica" t-shirt, and hence the question. Without giving the particulars of the question much thought, Ez replied,

"Yes."

I still don't know (and neither does he) if he meant to say it, if he misunderstood the question or what, but that's the way it went. Turns out, I am so glad he did. The man proceeded to speak to us in almost perfect Spanish! He explained how he studied English and Spanish in school, but that he always loved Spanish and loved to practice it with tourists. So, we had an entire, flawless conversation with a Cambodian in Spanish. I'm pretty happy about that.

Streets of Siem Reap

Our time in Cambodia also included seeing the famous Angkor Wat and temples of Angkor and, for those of you who know about it, the incredibly frustrating journey across the border from Bangkok. Angkor Wat was incredible. We spent a whole day (we could have easily spent a week if we had more money) walking around looking at the ruins and imagining how way back when these places were actually bustling, important cities. Ez pointed out that they still are bustling cities and always have been, since thousands of tourists are there every day. I liked that a lot. It's definitely a different kind of city, but one just the same. (At this time, your túk túk driver would point out that it's "same same but different.")

The Bustling City at Angkor Wat

The border trip was less amazing (the way there, that is; the way back was strangely pleasant). After a 5 hour bus ride from Bangkok to the border, we had to argue with a túk túk driver about how much he was charging us to take us to the immigration station (turns out he gave us a fair price and we were being the jerks. Sigh...you never know). Once through the border, we were met by a shady guy holding a sign with my name on it. What?? We did not request to be picked up by anyone, and knew that this side of the border was full of scammers. So, I told him we wouldn't be going with him, but asked how he got my name.

"Your hotel, Golden Temple Villa, sent me!"

"Why didn't they tell me they were going to do that?"

"Oh, yes, that's always a problem, but I promise they sent me."

Luckily I had a phone number to call. I called the guesthouse, and sure enough this man "worked for them." He led us to a taxi, asked for a tip (Ez gave him 10 ringgit because it was either that or a $50 bill, and the man sneered). We later found out that this man "working" for our guesthouse meant that he paid them for my name so that he could get a tip for helping us find a taxi. Anyways, we then took a 3 hour taxi ride to Siem Reap, which went really well, despite the fact that it was a dirt road filled with potholes, "Beware of Land-mines" signs lined the street, and that we couldn't tell which side of the road Cambodians drive on until about 2 hours into the trip. It's the right side, though you might never know it.

Honestly though, that day was my only complaint about our travels there. After that it was smooth sailing, as peaceful as my butterfly friend:

There's one more thing I have to say. Cambodia has a deeply troubled and violent recent history, and that sadness is still palpable. Although the Khmer Rouge is long gone, the effects of the genocide and the repressive regime are everywhere. Cambodia is one of the most heavily mined countries in the world, and men, women, and children who weren't even born during the years of Pol Pot are often injured (sometimes killed) by land-mines. Obviously, people who survived the terror still live with the trauma, both mental and physical, as well the memories of what happened to their neighbors, families, and friends. I think its easy for us to forget the atrocious things that have happened in the world, especially if they were in the past, but being in Cambodia (and Vietnam of course) reminds me that the legacies of violence are alive and well, unfortunately, and its our responsibility to educate ourselves about them, learn from them, help fix them, and help prevent them.

Ez and I are back in Malaysia now, and hopefully we'll be able to take all these experiences and lessons to heart. I don't know how they will affect us yet, or what we'll do with what we've learned, but I won't forget this trip and I certainly won't forget how lucky we have been to take it.

This post has gotten way too long, apparently. I'll sign off now.

Cambodia pictures are posted!

Love,

Sarah

Thailand: The Other Side of the Coin

At first glance, Thailand couldn't be any more different than Malaysia. You probably already know why: Men and women aren't allowed to touch vs. full body massages on every corner, halal meats and lots of fish vs. everything pork, and no national beer vs. at least 3. Our first few days in Thailand, these stark contrasts were all I could see really. And I wondered, how could two neighboring countries be so incredibly different?

As time went on and Ez and I discussed it more, we realized that although Malaysia and Thailand are very different places, they are more connected than we first thought. They are both deeply religious cultures, very community-based, and very concerned with due respect, hierarchy, and saving face. What makes them so different is how they react to or interpret these aspects of their cultures. For example, in Malaysia, religion encourages the restriction of the body in most ways, and in Thailand, it encourages the celebration of the body. Both, however, come from a deep focus on the body. It's just the other side of the same coin. See Ez's blog for more about this.

So, keeping in mind this "other side of the coin" analogy, on to our actual experiences. We spent our first few days in Bangkok, where we pretty much ate, watched movies, got massages, and looked at Buddhist temples (wats) for 2 days straight. I was worried about Bangkok because a lot of travelers have had negative experiences there, but I have to say, food, movies, massages and Buddhism are not bad things. I really enjoyed myself.

At the Wat of the Reclining Buddha in Bangkok-- Wat Pho

Also, two things of note:

1. Thais love their king. I had been hearing that since I came to Asia, and always kind of figured that Thais "loved" their king because it was illegal not to (literally: it is illegal to say anything bad about him, or even to step on a coin because his face is on it). After being in Thailand for a few days, I actually believe that Thais love their king. Everywhere you go people wear shirts and Lance Armstrong bracelets that say "long live the king," and his picture, framed in gold, is everywhere. After the previews of every movie we saw, we were made to stand up while they played the King's Song and showed a montage of his life. I think I love the king now too.

2. Respect for Monks:

A sign posted above the bench on a water taxi

After Bangkok, on our way up to Chiang Mai in the north, we stopped at Thailand's ancient capital, Sukhothai, for a night to break up our trip. Even though we were there for less than 24 hours, it was one of my favorite days in Thailand. We stayed at the cutest guesthouse, that even had a pool! We spent the afternoon reading by the pool and swimming. That night, we stumbled upon the infamous....

We spent a few minutes marveling at its wonderfulness and taking pictures, when I heard a voice from behind say, in a somewhat offended tone, "it means 'crab' in Thai." It was a Western man with an accent, I'm guessing French. I responded that I had figured as much, but it was just humorous to us as English speakers. He looked less than amused. After a few minutes of chatting with him we found out he was the owner of the restaurant, which I guess was embarrassing for all of us. We ate there though, and it was very delicious. Although no crab on the menu.... ?

The next day before we got on the bus for Chiang Mai, we rented bicycles for $1 and spent 2 hours cycling around the ancient ruins. Just as beautiful as the ancient temples and Buddhas was the location itself-- ponds with lily pads, palm trees, a gorgeous lake. It was hot, but we were happy.

A peaceful Buddha from 100s of years ago

Chiang Mai was also a fantastic time. We had 3 full days there, which was enough time to experience a lot of things, but also to rest up and relax a bit. We literally had a massage every day, bringing up the total number of massages in Thailand to 5 each (we were only there 8 days) so far...we still have one more day when we get back from Cambodia. Also, we rented a moto for an entire day ($3), a great way to see the city. We took it up a mountain to see the "temple on the hill," Doi Suthep. A beautiful building with a beautiful view.

Doi Suthep

If you ever go to Thailand, you MUST take a cooking class. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time. After a full day of cooking on an organic farm and eating my own six-course meal, I was truly satisfied. I made curry paste, Green Curry Chicken, Coconut Chicken Soup, Cashew Chicken, Spring rolls, and mango and sticky rice. Ez made an entirely different meal, and together we had leftovers for dinner that night too.

My Cashew Chicken

I guess the way I can tie this all together is by saying that although I experienced more "bodily pleasures" in Thailand like food and massages than I ever do in Malaysia, both places have made me aware of myself and my body in a cultural context in ways that I just never think about back at home. In Malaysia, my shoulder is offensive. In Bangkok, the cute halter-top dress Kiyomi gave me is the least scandalous outfit of anyone's. In both places, though, I am more aware of how my body is viewed by others than I have ever been before, and I think it is because of the common need to focus on something physical, whether it be suppressing that physicality or letting it run wild. Of course, America is not exempt from this, and is the "third side" of that coin if you will, but sometimes you need to be shown the other sides to know that the coin exists at all.

Enjoy the photos posted from Thailand, and as our adventures in Cambodia unfold I will post more.

Love,

Sarah